Let's not Make Assumptions
Last night, as I sat wondering what to write for my Monday Morning Message, I looked up at my bookshelf, and saw: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It’s a book I’ve loved for years and still pull off the shelf when I need a little reminder.
Drawing on ancient Toltec wisdom, Ruiz offers four simple but powerful agreements to live by:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
All four are powerful, but the one I return to again and again is Don’t Make Assumptions. Ruiz encourages us to find the courage to ask questions, say what we really want, and communicate clearly.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But think about how often we make assumptions with friends, family, partners, and coworkers.
Someone doesn’t return our call, and we assume they’re upset with us. Our partner says something in a certain tone, and we assume we know what they’re thinking. A friend doesn’t invite us somewhere, and suddenly we’ve built an entire story about why.
And here’s the crazy part: we often react emotionally to a story we created in our own minds, not to something we actually know is true.
How much unnecessary drama, gossip, sadness, resentment, and misunderstanding could we avoid if we had the courage to ask instead of assume?
I’ve been guilty of this many times, because I’m afraid to ask for clarification. Asking risks an answer I might not like. I’m sure that’s why this agreement keeps speaking to me.
So here’s my invitation this Monday morning. Before you jump to conclusions this week, get curious. Ask a question. Have a conversation. Give someone the benefit of the doubt.
Because assumptions build walls, but communication builds bridges. And isn’t that what we all want? More understanding, more connection, and a little less unnecessary drama.
Wishing you a week filled with curiosity, kindness, and clarity!
Happy Monday! ❤️
Colette